As I prepare for my very first Pairings, now less than three weeks away, all of my usual fears come creeping in. Will I be able to fulfill the choreographer’s vision? Will I dance well with my fellow performers? Will I deliver a performance that I can be proud of, and that reflects well on Motus Dance? All of these fears stem from a deeply ingrained perfectionism. Recently however, I came across a theory that has me looking at things in a new way.
I came across an article which highlighted that it is widely believed by astrophysicists that the only reason anything exists, even a single particle of matter, is that there is a fundamental imperfection in nature. And in fact, if nature was perfectly balanced the result would be…nothingness. For a perfectionist like myself this is a relevatory notion. As a dancer striving for the perfect line, the perfect landing, the perfect balance the idea that imperfection is not only okay, but perhaps essential, is liberating.
The true art it seems, is in finding a way to strive for perfection and then not stand in our own way when a beautiful imperfection presents itself. For the truly astounding thing, is that for all of the sweat, blisters, bruises, and hours spent in the studio working to create the perfect moment, it is only when we are able to capture imperfection without artifice, that those moments actually occur. Those are the once in a lifetime moments I live for as an artist.
Imperfection as an engine for creation? If it’s worked for existence itself, I think I’ll give it a try.