I’m finding that I have a great deal more confidence in myself and in my work than I ever would 10 years or 5 years or even 2 yrs ago. It’s not that I’m a better or more refined choreographer now than I was in the past, I’m just a different, more confident person now. However, I saw the show order for the first time yesterday, and found out that my piece is first! Eek! I can’t really explain why, but that makes me a little nervous.
I can’t claim much ownership over an end product that has been 2 months in the making. The piece belongs just as much to my dancers as it does to me now, if not more. Their willingness to ride the waves and stay patient and receptive as I have experimented, modified, brainstormed, hit roadblocks, and occasionally blanked on choreography has been invaluable to me. Many of them have also offered some great suggestions and feedback and so I really feel like it has been a truly collaborative process with all seven of us! And I guess it’s also a little premature to call it finished at this point! We do still have one rehearsal, and while I don’t plan on changing anything, we will finally have a chance to run the entire piece multiple times, clarify timing, and talk again about intention – and I’m hoping to see the piece evolve even more.
I keep forgetting that this is, in a way, a competition. Eight choreographers, eight works, one gets the award. It doesn’t feel at all competitive. Everyone has been supportive, open and honest, providing well thought out, meaningful feedback. I have watched the other pieces at least three times now, and there is such diversity between them and beautiful moments within each of them that I can’t even begin to think about any one of them rising to the top. The adjudicators have a tough job ahead of them!